I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
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