i wish peter jackson would direct porn
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
