I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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