so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
