my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize