If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
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Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
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What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize