How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
