I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
