Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(310): View more from California

something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up

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(432): View more from Texas

He looks like he has a penis

(210): View more from Texas

What the fuck

(432): View more from Texas

A good one, a good penis

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(705): View more from Ontario

i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away

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(541): View more from Oregon

Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.

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(704): View more from North Carolina

Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?

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(440): View more from Ohio

i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms

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(732): View more from New Jersey

Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.

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(503): View more from Oregon

We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend

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(941): View more from Florida

I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him

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