I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
