I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize