I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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