He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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