Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
