he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
