considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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