Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
