your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
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