I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize