he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Randomize