Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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