Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
