Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Success! We fucked roommates!
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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