i dedicated my morning wood to you.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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