covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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