dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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