Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
