My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
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He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
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I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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