Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.