this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
