No awkward lesbian experiences without me
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
