C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
