mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
