Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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