tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Randomize