she looked like the bat from fern gully.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
