I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize