and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
