im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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