i don't like sucking hair
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
