He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
We talked him into tasing himself.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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