is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
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