She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
