he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize
