beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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