You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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