I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Randomize
