I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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