Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
