anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
