If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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