Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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