Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
