Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Randomize
