Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
