Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
