East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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