it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
how drunk are you?
Several
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
