I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
dude i'm inner monologue high
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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